Writing this message has been one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But from this point, it will only get harder. Your being here has made me realize that I cannot go on like this.
Whenever you are not around I feel sad. I make puppy noises and I flap around on the bed like a fish. It does not help. The craving is always there–it is nagging at me, at the back of my mind. A tiny voice that keeps telling me: attention! attention! I feel like a drug addict and I can no longer control myself. I have mood swings. I break stuff. The craving for attention is just too much. It is taking control of me and I can’t stop it anymore. Dear reader, I am an attention addict. I want it and I want it now!
I wish someone would have organized an intervention for me. But I also know that I would have taken advantage of that. I would revel in all the attention. All the eyes would be on me. Everything for me. I would soak it all up until the party finally ends. Then I would be left in the darkness looking for a new fix. Therefore, because things spiraled out of control so quickly, I have decided to go into rehab. I know that I am strong and that I can do this. By writing this to you I have already taken the first step towards recovery. Furthermore, I hope I will have your support in the hard times ahead. Though I am unsure if they will allow contact with the outside world in the clinic. They say attention addicts are some of the most difficult to recover. I know that they will be strict. I also know that during my recovery I will relapse, but I am ready to let it all wash over me. Please, if you can find it within yourself, I beg you, reserve just a tiny piece of attention for me in your heart.